Entitlement: Figurative Titles

I've written before about how I use this same method when I need to name a script. I often will try to come up with some concrete symbol for what's going on at the heart of the story. If it can relate to both the A and B stories, well, even better. "Harsh Light of Day," one of my Buffy episodes, did this, relating to the actual sunlight that was important in the action story, and, figuratively, to a cold realization that was important in the emotional story. My Battlestar episode "The Passage," was already named when I was assigned to it, I believe, but I love that title, since it relates literally to a specific hazardous mission and figuratively to a death that results from it.

Even if you can't find anything literal in the script that connects to the name, a figurative title can often still work, cutting right to the most important concept of the episode. My newest Battlestar episode title works in this way, but I don't think we're making those public yet. Let's imagine though, that you're writing an episode about regaining an old friendship. I'm not talking about calling it "Mending Fences," since that's so familiar that it's lost any charge as an actual evocative image. But you could call it "Vital Repairs," or something in that area.

The best thing about finding a title like this, if you can, is that it can actually improve the writing. I like to come up with a title before I write the episode. In fact, I like to come up with it before I write the outline. If I've really managed to come up with something that captures the vital core of the episode, there's nothing that can possibly help me more than to have a constant reminder of that. Every time I open or save the document, I see the name. If you do this, and you keep it in mind as you write, it can act like a handrail that'll keep you heading right down the middle of the story. Play around with it. Sometimes a literal title works best, or a figurative one feels labored, but finding a title that constantly reminds you of your main goal is precious.

Quotes from Mamet's Heist

* "Is he cool?" "My motherfucker's so cool, when he goes to sleep, the sheep count him."

* "Everybody wants money. That's why they call it money!"

* "You're the brass ring, babe." "Glad you like me."

* "Hand to God, that bible stopped a bullet. Would have ruined that fucker's heart. And had he had another bible in front of his face, that man would still be alive today."

* "You're a real piece of work, you know that?" "Yeah, I came all the way from China in a matchbox."

* "Don't you want to hear my last words?" "I just did."

* "Hey, buddy. You forgot your change." "Thanks. Makes the world go 'round." "What's that?" "Gold." "Some people say love." "Well, they're right too. It is love. Love of gold."

* "Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause the road crossed the chicken."

* "He ain't gonna shoot me?" "No." "Then he hadn't ought to point a gun at me. It's insincere."

"How many?" "One." "Take five."

from Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978):

Needing to stay awake, the couple finds a bottle of speed.

"How many does it say to take?"
"One."
"Take five."

Darkly humorous in a desperate situation.

Logging Out of a Ouija Board

Apparently, one "signs off" from ouija board when finished.

Also apparently, a ouija board was used in The Exorcist, with unfortunate results. Clearly, the little girl failed to log off, and her firewall wasn't up to date.

Details of this last bit can be found here.

Jeremy's Rant About His Past, Present, and Future Selves

"Present Jeremy and Past Jeremy are always working to screw over Future Jeremy. Future Jeremy hates Present and Past Jeremy."

~"If Future Jeremy ever gets a hold of time travel, he's not gonna go into the future. He's gonna come back and make life hell for Present and Past Jeremy."

Funny Sex Boast

"We did it in every room."

"Doesn't she live in a studio?"

"Shut up."